The bit about beautification is absolutely spot on- I have no explanation for why it's women who put effort into attractiveness. The slut-shaming and desirability of virgins for men, though- that actually does make sense (I mean in evolutionary terms, obviously, not moral ones); it's to do with avoiding cuckolding and disease.
This is so absolutely spot on and would make for a much better world, but selfishly I’m almost glad things are the way they are because I get way too much effort for just, like, trying.
That said, is it just me or is this actually starting to change? Between various egalitarian cultural norms (the queer acceptance movement in particular deserves some credit here imo) and the realpolitik of increased women’s earning power it feels like the men I know increasingly care about the sorts of presentation that were traditionally reserved for women.
Two questions I have are:
1) to what extent are these trends due to some basic feminism being fashionable at the moment? I’d guess that most of these changes will stay for the foreseeable future, but it wouldn’t surprise me if traditional masculinity made a comeback on a shallower level. Overall, though, I’m more on team “this is just the start” than “this is just a phase.”
2) how much might we be underestimating the men of the past’s interest in looking good and pleasing their partners? Clearly just about everyone throughout history would like to be seen as hot and good at sex, what’s new is the part where men take (these? Or many/any?) steps to make that happen.
With the exception that I find body hair hot, I wholeheartedly long for prairie hen world.
Dan Luu points out that men don't even pursue success in video games: https://danluu.com/p95-skill/
The bit about beautification is absolutely spot on- I have no explanation for why it's women who put effort into attractiveness. The slut-shaming and desirability of virgins for men, though- that actually does make sense (I mean in evolutionary terms, obviously, not moral ones); it's to do with avoiding cuckolding and disease.
This is so absolutely spot on and would make for a much better world, but selfishly I’m almost glad things are the way they are because I get way too much effort for just, like, trying.
That said, is it just me or is this actually starting to change? Between various egalitarian cultural norms (the queer acceptance movement in particular deserves some credit here imo) and the realpolitik of increased women’s earning power it feels like the men I know increasingly care about the sorts of presentation that were traditionally reserved for women.
Two questions I have are:
1) to what extent are these trends due to some basic feminism being fashionable at the moment? I’d guess that most of these changes will stay for the foreseeable future, but it wouldn’t surprise me if traditional masculinity made a comeback on a shallower level. Overall, though, I’m more on team “this is just the start” than “this is just a phase.”
2) how much might we be underestimating the men of the past’s interest in looking good and pleasing their partners? Clearly just about everyone throughout history would like to be seen as hot and good at sex, what’s new is the part where men take (these? Or many/any?) steps to make that happen.