Discussion about this post

User's avatar
SkinShallow's avatar

This is really, really good. I think it's good generally, partially because it doesn't quite feel like therapy -- it seems to see specific problems which perhaps live in the world rather than in a person's head, broadly speaking. So the solutions often will involve acting in the world rather than adjusting one's mental patterns. And that's very useful and often ignored by "therapy industrial complex".

But what makes this text particularly good is its focus on the idea that "workarounds are actually solutions", and how and why, and that a workaround doesn't necessarily mean attitude/emotional adjustment, that it could be practical and still effective.

Expand full comment
walruss's avatar

As someone who's stayed up late playing video games and is essentially a zombie despite it being a workday, I'd never claim to be a leading authority on doing life good.

But the problems in my life I've been able to overcome, the solution process has looked like this. This is really important and useful stuff, and anyone who's struggling should read it. I'll likely be sharing this with friends and family.

I'll also add the secret ingredient I needed - you don't need permission to pursue a solution you know will work for you. I'd spent 7 years and $200k getting a law degree, and the solution to my depression, anxiety, declining health, etc. was to *stop being a lawyer*. This was blindingly obvious to anyone who had even a passing familiarity with my situation. Nonetheless I went to therapy to try to solve my depression, anxiety, declining health, etc., and my therapist, thank goodness, was not running a scam to sell me more therapy. I had one session, he said "you don't need my permission to do the thing that will fix your problem, but if it helps you have it" and that was that.

The solution might not be standard. It might raise eyebrows. You might have to justify it to your friends and family. It might *cause other problems* you don't have a current solution for, and you just prefer those problems to this one. That's fine! As long as you're not hurting anyone (or these actions will cause you to hurt them less!) just do the thing that will obviously work. Why wouldn't you do the thing that will obviously work?

Expand full comment
2 more comments...

No posts