This is really, really good. I think it's good generally, partially because it doesn't quite feel like therapy -- it seems to see specific problems which perhaps live in the world rather than in a person's head, broadly speaking. So the solutions often will involve acting in the world rather than adjusting one's mental patterns. And that's very useful and often ignored by "therapy industrial complex".
But what makes this text particularly good is its focus on the idea that "workarounds are actually solutions", and how and why, and that a workaround doesn't necessarily mean attitude/emotional adjustment, that it could be practical and still effective.
As someone who's stayed up late playing video games and is essentially a zombie despite it being a workday, I'd never claim to be a leading authority on doing life good.
But the problems in my life I've been able to overcome, the solution process has looked like this. This is really important and useful stuff, and anyone who's struggling should read it. I'll likely be sharing this with friends and family.
I'll also add the secret ingredient I needed - you don't need permission to pursue a solution you know will work for you. I'd spent 7 years and $200k getting a law degree, and the solution to my depression, anxiety, declining health, etc. was to *stop being a lawyer*. This was blindingly obvious to anyone who had even a passing familiarity with my situation. Nonetheless I went to therapy to try to solve my depression, anxiety, declining health, etc., and my therapist, thank goodness, was not running a scam to sell me more therapy. I had one session, he said "you don't need my permission to do the thing that will fix your problem, but if it helps you have it" and that was that.
The solution might not be standard. It might raise eyebrows. You might have to justify it to your friends and family. It might *cause other problems* you don't have a current solution for, and you just prefer those problems to this one. That's fine! As long as you're not hurting anyone (or these actions will cause you to hurt them less!) just do the thing that will obviously work. Why wouldn't you do the thing that will obviously work?
It good for Know Thyself, and it help when people not sure what they want in a way that fixable by thinking about that, or when they feel they disallow to do that, because the result is unfair and bad and blameworthy.
it's a little different context, but it feel similar. and it good to have canonical link with explanation.
***
It's also technique that deserve much more attention and energy that it get. to have the complex information tree of "if this doesn't work, you may try this or this, it worked to some people what was a b c" that created when a lot of people try something.
for example, how to deal with wanting to feel something and not being sure what will you feel if X happen. humans are notoriously bad at self-prediction. it doesn't mean the method useless, but it does mean that it just the start. (and it related to my shifting opinion toward the importance of feedback from reality, and the sooner the better.)
in an ideal world, I* wake up with pleasant anticipation for the concert in the evening. what if i brought the concert tickets and still don't feel this pleasant anticipation?
this is when the interesting - aka, deserving several books of trying to answer that question level of attention - start. in an ideal world, we would have those books instead of at least 10% and maybe 90% (i don't really good in saying what is the right balance, just the both are useful but we have oversupply of one and undersupply of the other) or the normal therapy books, that are very inward-directed.
This is really, really good. I think it's good generally, partially because it doesn't quite feel like therapy -- it seems to see specific problems which perhaps live in the world rather than in a person's head, broadly speaking. So the solutions often will involve acting in the world rather than adjusting one's mental patterns. And that's very useful and often ignored by "therapy industrial complex".
But what makes this text particularly good is its focus on the idea that "workarounds are actually solutions", and how and why, and that a workaround doesn't necessarily mean attitude/emotional adjustment, that it could be practical and still effective.
As someone who's stayed up late playing video games and is essentially a zombie despite it being a workday, I'd never claim to be a leading authority on doing life good.
But the problems in my life I've been able to overcome, the solution process has looked like this. This is really important and useful stuff, and anyone who's struggling should read it. I'll likely be sharing this with friends and family.
I'll also add the secret ingredient I needed - you don't need permission to pursue a solution you know will work for you. I'd spent 7 years and $200k getting a law degree, and the solution to my depression, anxiety, declining health, etc. was to *stop being a lawyer*. This was blindingly obvious to anyone who had even a passing familiarity with my situation. Nonetheless I went to therapy to try to solve my depression, anxiety, declining health, etc., and my therapist, thank goodness, was not running a scam to sell me more therapy. I had one session, he said "you don't need my permission to do the thing that will fix your problem, but if it helps you have it" and that was that.
The solution might not be standard. It might raise eyebrows. You might have to justify it to your friends and family. It might *cause other problems* you don't have a current solution for, and you just prefer those problems to this one. That's fine! As long as you're not hurting anyone (or these actions will cause you to hurt them less!) just do the thing that will obviously work. Why wouldn't you do the thing that will obviously work?
the Miracle Solution technique is already In The Water in my corner if the internet! aka, i learned it from Captain Awkward: https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&channel=entpr&q=site%3Ahttps%3A%2F%2Fcaptainawkward.com%2F+in+a+prefect+world
and find it useful to clear up fog.
It good for Know Thyself, and it help when people not sure what they want in a way that fixable by thinking about that, or when they feel they disallow to do that, because the result is unfair and bad and blameworthy.
it's a little different context, but it feel similar. and it good to have canonical link with explanation.
***
It's also technique that deserve much more attention and energy that it get. to have the complex information tree of "if this doesn't work, you may try this or this, it worked to some people what was a b c" that created when a lot of people try something.
for example, how to deal with wanting to feel something and not being sure what will you feel if X happen. humans are notoriously bad at self-prediction. it doesn't mean the method useless, but it does mean that it just the start. (and it related to my shifting opinion toward the importance of feedback from reality, and the sooner the better.)
in an ideal world, I* wake up with pleasant anticipation for the concert in the evening. what if i brought the concert tickets and still don't feel this pleasant anticipation?
this is when the interesting - aka, deserving several books of trying to answer that question level of attention - start. in an ideal world, we would have those books instead of at least 10% and maybe 90% (i don't really good in saying what is the right balance, just the both are useful but we have oversupply of one and undersupply of the other) or the normal therapy books, that are very inward-directed.
Disagremeents aside, this is a useful technique, and thank you for spreading it.